Still nothing exciting here. Lots of new bed rest mommas have been admitted in the past few days here. I feel so bad for them.
I'm looking forward to Friday...31 weeks! That will 7 weeks in the hospital. I'm settled into a routine here and most of the nurses know me so the day goes by with ease. Sometimes I feel like this will never end, I here of ladies due after me come and deliver and go home already. I know the best place for the babies is in my belly but I feel so frustrated sometimes. I am grateful there are no complications and nothing seems to stopping us from getting farther along. In my head, I'm set at 34 weeks but my IM is pushing for farther, 35 weeks. I understand her reasoning but my body is already tired and doing more than it should. Plus, 10 weeks of mag is enough! I think I've given all I can them. At this point all I care about is the babies health and mine. Others can judge, put in their opinion but it's my body, my life that's being stretched so thin. I hate complaining or being negative but I just feel so beat down sometimes, like nothing I do will ever be good enough. I never wanted this experience to make me feel like I failed or wasn't good enough. I think what I'm doing, have done is really hard and hopefully nothing as hard will come my way again. I just can't wait to get out of here, I want to sit in a car, open the window and feel the air on my face. I want to smell the clean laundry my kids wear and lay in bed with them. I want to paint their nails, do crafts, go swimming, ride bikes, see a few good movies at the theatre....I 'm ready for my life back! All in all, I know this is my body and I decide what happens. The doctor promised 34 weeks and I'm standing strong with that! Sorry to disappoint but I've made up my mind!
***UPDATE***
Just saw the doctor. After feeling pretty down, I pressed him to give me a definite date for delivery. He'll be out of town on the day I turn 34 weeks so we settled for Monday June 27th...34 weeks 3 days. Hope that's good enough for my IM but at this point it will have to do, I'm already so mentally and physically strained. I am going to let her know this afternoon.
26 more days to go!
My first completed counted cross stitch project for the babies...3 more to do!
I can't even imagine. You are doing amazing things and you deserve to want all of that. It's not complaining, it's just what you want and that is ok. Hang in there girl...we may be delivering at the same time, of course I only have a singleton but I have a scheduled c-section on July 1.
ReplyDeleteWow, you are amazing, I have been reading your blog. I am a surrogate carrying twins from Ontario. I am 28 weeks now and I am counting down the day/weeks till this babies may be born. I would be surprise if you could make it to 34 weeks with quads....even 32 weeks would be amazing, so don't beat yourself up on when they are born!
ReplyDeleteFor myself, I am hoping to make it to 34 weeks with just twins! Dreading the summer heat (no a/c)
You are a superstar, no matter if you make it a few more days or weeks!
Joanne GS surro due Aug 23/11
I too am a surrogate following your blog. I'm proud of you for standing your ground and knowing what you can handle while, at the same time, keeping the health of the babies at the forefront of your decisions :)
ReplyDeleteI just read your post on my blog...sorry I didn't send you a message sooner! You are doing such an amazing thing! I know firsthand how straining a quad pregnancy is physically and mentally. Hospital bedrest can be so brutal, but you seem to have a great attitude! That always seemed to help keep my spirits up. If you ever need someone to talk to who can relate to what you are going through, please email me at jcdotzler@yahoo.com! Good luck!
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